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Is it Love or Lust? How to Tell the Difference

Abby K.

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love-or-lust
Who hasnโ€™t been there? ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™€๏ธ You meet someone. Sparks fly. But is it love or just lust? The two can feel shockingly similar, but they lead to entirely different paths in a relationship. Let’s break it down and see the signs for each! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Lust

Lust is all about the physical. ๐Ÿฅต It’s that instant attraction when you canโ€™t keep your hands off each other. Lust focuses on the โ€œhere and now,โ€ without much thought for the future. If you’re more about the physical connection and donโ€™t feel a deeper emotional bond, it’s likely lust.

Love

Love is deeper and more meaningful. ๐Ÿ’– It’s not just about physical attraction; it’s about emotional connection, understanding, and support. Love means youโ€™re investing time and effort into understanding each other on a profound level. When in love, you care about the other person’s happiness as much as your own.

Comparing the Two

Love grows with time, while lust can hit instantly and fade just as fast. Love involves a deeper commitment and dedication, whereas lust can be fleeting and surface-level.

Ask Yourself Some Questions

Do you love spending time with them, even without the physical stuff? ๐Ÿค” Are you interested in their thoughts, feelings, and day-to-day life? If yes, itโ€™s leaning towards love.

But, if itโ€™s all about the physical connection and you’re not connecting emotionally or intellectually, it might be lust.

Look at the Timing

Lust tends to follow a pattern: it’s intense and immediate. Love takes time to develop, it grows as you get to know the other person more deeply.

Observe How You Face Challenges Together

In love, you work through challenges and conflicts together, supporting each other along the way. With lust, issues may cause more drama and could lead to the end of the relationship because the emotional bond is not strong.

Trust Your Instincts

Lastly, trust your gut feelings. Your instincts often give you insights about your relationship that are worth paying attention to. If you feel a deep connection beyond physical attraction, it might be love. If not, it could be lust.

Be Honest and Reflective

Be honest with yourself and reflect on your feelings and the relationship. Take your time to understand your emotions, and donโ€™t rush into labeling your relationship. Enjoy the journey and learn about yourself and your partner along the way. ๐Ÿ’•

Discuss the Future

Another way to determine whether it’s love or lust is by discussing the future. In love, you can easily imagine and plan a future together. You discuss and make decisions together, and you see each other as part of each otherโ€™s future lives.

Your Friends and Family

Love often integrates into other aspects of your life. If you’re introducing them to friends and family, and making an effort to integrate your lives, itโ€™s a sign of love.

Take a Pause from Physical Intimacy

Confused about your feelings? ๐Ÿ˜• Consider taking a brief break from physical intimacy. This pause can be like a relationship โ€œreboot,โ€ helping you see your bond from a fresh perspective. Itโ€™s not about creating distance, but about allowing space to assess the emotional and intellectual depth of your relationship.

During this time, focus on other ways to connect. Engage in meaningful conversations, explore shared interests, and evaluate your communication and support for each other. This break can illuminate whether your relationship has a sturdy foundation beyond physical attraction, helping you discern if itโ€™s love or lust.

Remember, itโ€™s crucial for both partners to be on board with this pause, understanding it as a time for reflection and clarity, not a breakup. Itโ€™s all about ensuring your relationship is well-rounded and robust. ๐Ÿฅฐ

Communication is Key

Pay attention to your communication. If it’s rich, meaningful, and two-way, it’s leaning towards love. ๐Ÿ’ฌ If communication revolves around physical aspects and lacks emotional and intellectual depth, it might be lust.

It’s in the Little Things

Love is in the little things. It’s in the caring gestures, the support, the concern for each other’s well-being, and the shared experiences and laughter. Love is built on a foundation of mutual care and respect.

Personal Growth

In love, you grow together. You encourage each otherโ€™s personal and emotional growth. If itโ€™s lust, personal growth and emotional development are not priorities.

Final Thoughts

Remember, it’s totally normal for a loving relationship to start with lust! The important thing is that it grows into a deeper emotional connection over time. ๐ŸŒฑ

Pay attention to your feelings and the dynamics of the relationship to understand what you’re truly experiencing. ๐Ÿ’‘

Hey there! I'm Abby, the proud editor here, holding the fort at this fabulous site. My journey in the world of words began three years ago, and it's been an adventure writing for various websites and connecting with amazing readers like you. Apart from passionately discussing fashion, health and other tips, you can often find me snuggled up with my purr-fect kitties (no judgments, please!) or hunting down the next best Mexican food joint in town. Want to write for Shimmer Vibe? Well what are you waiting for, DM me rn!!

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Relationships

Too Many Boyfriends? Never!

Macie M.

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Juggling-multiple-boyfriends

Ever feel like having just one boyfriend is a total snoozefest? ๐Ÿ™„ Heโ€™s either busy gaming, hanging with his bros, or cramming for exams when you want to go out. More and more girls are ditching the โ€œone BFโ€ rule and collecting boyfriends like they’re the latest Pokรฉmon cards. Gotta catch โ€˜em all, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰ But waitโ€”how many boyfriends is *too* many? Are you setting yourself up for fun or a hot mess express? Letโ€™s dive in! ๐Ÿš€

The Case for More Than One ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ•บ

Okay, so picture this: Youโ€™re texting your BF, and heโ€™s MIA because heโ€™s too busy with his Xbox, โ€œstudyingโ€ (yeah, right), or hanging out with his bros. Ugh, SO annoying, right? Thatโ€™s where having more than one boyfriend can be a total game-changer. One guy is sweet, but two or three? Now, thatโ€™s options, girl! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Think of it like a little BF buffet. When oneโ€™s busy, anotherโ€™s free. Oneโ€™s obsessed with his fantasy football team? No probโ€”call up BF #2, whoโ€™s down for rom-com marathons anytime. Plus, letโ€™s be real: having different guys with different vibes means youโ€™re never bored. One’s a musician? Cool, enjoy those free concerts! Anotherโ€™s sporty? Guess who just scored courtside seats. ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ€

And hey, who doesnโ€™t love a little extra attention? Multiple boyfriends = multiple compliments, dates, andโ€”letโ€™s be honestโ€”more fun. Itโ€™s like having a squad of guys who are all about you. So why stick to one when you can have your own little BF collection? Think of them like your fave Pokรฉmon cardsโ€”gotta catch โ€˜em all! ๐Ÿฅฐโœจ

The Challenges of Boyfriend Juggling

So, you’ve got more boyfriends than you have fingers on one handโ€”congrats, girl! But before you start feeling like the queen of the castle, letโ€™s talk about the not-so-glam side of juggling multiple BFs. ๐Ÿ˜… First up, scheduling is a total nightmare. One wants to go to the movies, anotherโ€™s planning a picnic, and suddenly youโ€™re triple-booked on Saturday. ๐Ÿšจ Cue the panic! And let’s not even get started on the whole “Where were you last night?” drama. Spoiler alert: jealousy is like glitterโ€”impossible to fully clean up once itโ€™s out there. ๐Ÿ™ƒ

Then thereโ€™s the emotional energy. Keeping track of who’s got a big exam, whoโ€™s mad about their Fantasy League, and whoโ€™s feeling clingyโ€”it’s like a full-time job without the paycheck. ๐Ÿค‘ Donโ€™t forget, one slip-up (like accidentally calling BF #3 by BF #2โ€™s name) can cause a meltdown of epic proportions. Trust us, itโ€™s not as easy as the TikToks make it look! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ But hey, if youโ€™re up for the challenge and can handle the juggling act, power to you! Just remember: the key is to have fun, keep it light, and always have an exit plan if things get too crazy.

Setting Your Limits

Alright, ladies, letโ€™s talk limits. You might be all about that poly life, but even the most seasoned BF collector knows thereโ€™s a line! ๐Ÿ›‘ How many boys can you really juggle before your calendar starts looking like a sudoku puzzle? ๐Ÿ˜‚ First off, not every guy needs to be your Prince Charming. For real, some guys are better as “best buddy boyfriends”โ€”you know, the ones who are down for late-night chats, movie marathons, and junk food runs, but with none of the drama or pressure to hop in the back seat of their parent’s car – every single night. Itโ€™s like having your cake and eating it too (without going broke spending on lingerie!).

Seriously, setting some boundaries can keep you from getting overwhelmed. Not every BF needs to be a full-on romance novel, complete with all the smooching and fireworks. ๐ŸŒŸ Sometimes itโ€™s more fun to keep it chill and casual. And letโ€™s be realโ€”who has time to deal with ALL the feelings, texts, and late-night convos with EVERY single guy? ๐Ÿ˜… Set your own pace and pick your faves wisely. Your sanity (and your group chat) will thank you. Remember, it’s YOUR world, and these boys are just living in it. ๐Ÿ’…

Is It Worth It? Absolutely! ๐ŸŽ‰

Letโ€™s be real: juggling more than one boyfriend might sound like a circus act, but girl, itโ€™s *so* worth it! ๐Ÿ™Œ Why settle for one guyโ€™s attention when you can have a whole lineup waiting for their turn? Think of it like a rotationโ€”feeling smothered? No problem! Just tell BF #2 to cool off for a few days while you hang with BF #3 for a fun night out. Itโ€™s like having your own personal roster of guys who are dying to take you on midnight drive (and park, obv!) ๐Ÿš—โœจ๐Ÿ’•

And can we talk about the gifts? ๐ŸŽ Itโ€™s like having your birthday all year round. BF #1 surprises you with a cute bra and panty set from Victoria’s Secret? Perfect! Rock them on a hotel date with BF #4โ€”whoโ€™s gonna know it wasnโ€™t your own splurge? ๐Ÿ˜ The variety is the real MVP here: different guys, different vibes, and always someone to match your mood. Itโ€™s about options, baby, and making the most of them. So go ahead and enjoy the perksโ€”because lifeโ€™s too short to stick to just one flavor of fun!

Our Bottom Line

So, whether youโ€™re rocking just one BF or juggling a whole lineup, remember: itโ€™s all about what makes YOU feel fab! ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ’– Keep it light, keep it fun, and most importantly, keep it drama-free. Ready to hop on the multi-guy train? ๐Ÿš‚ Next up, weโ€™ll spill the tea on how to make it happenโ€”trust us, itโ€™s worth the ride! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœจ

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Dating Positively at Any Size

Kelly D.

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Plus Size Dating Tips

Hey Gorgeous! Ready to slay the dating game with your fabulous curves? ๐ŸŒˆโœจ Jump into our ultra-fun guide where we spill the tea on rocking your body with unapologetic confidence and style. Let’s get you date-ready and dazzling – because let’s face it, you’re the whole package and then some! #CurveLove ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ”ฅ

1. Embracing Your Body Positively ๐Ÿค—

The first step in feeling confident is embracing your body just as it is. Your curves are beautiful, and they make you, you! Celebrate your body by acknowledging the things you love about it. Stand in front of a mirror, give yourself a smile, and remind yourself of your worth – itโ€™s not determined by your dress size. Self-love is your superpower. ๐Ÿ’ช

2. Fashion that Flatters and Feels Good ๐Ÿ‘—

When it comes to fashion, choose outfits that make you feel fabulous. Opt for colors and patterns that speak to your personality. Love bright colors? Go for it! Adore bold patterns? Wear them with pride. Remember, the best outfit is the one that makes you feel confident and comfortable. A-line dresses, wrap tops, and high-waisted pants can be incredibly flattering and stylish choices.

Pro Tip: tempt him to touch by wearing smooth fabrics like pleather, vinyl and satin.

3. Accessorize to Personalize ๐Ÿ’

Accessories are your best friends. They add a pop of personality to any outfit and can be great conversation starters. A unique handbag, a statement necklace, or some funky earrings can elevate your look instantly. Plus, theyโ€™re a fun way to express yourself.

4. The Power of Good Lingerie ๐Ÿ‘™

Never underestimate the power of what lies beneath. Good, supportive lingerie not only ensures your clothes fit better but also boosts your confidence. Invest in pieces that are comfortable and make you feel gorgeous. But there’s more – imagine the ‘wow’ moment when your date gets a glimpse of your stunning lingerie. It’s not just about impressing them; it’s about that extra surge of confidence you get knowing you have a secret weapon of allure. The right lingerie can be your silent cheerleader, giving you that extra edge of sass and surprise. So, go ahead and pick something that makes you feel like the queen you are! ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’ƒ

5. Experiment with Makeup and Hair ๐Ÿ’„

Your hair and makeup are extensions of your style. Feel free to experiment with different looks that reflect your mood and personality. Whether it’s a bold lipstick or a new hairstyle, these changes can make you feel refreshed and confident.

6. The Allure of Enticing Perfume

Just like bees to honey, the right perfume can draw admiration and create an unforgettable impression. It’s the invisible accessory that can make you feel irresistible. Choosing a fragrance that complements your personality can be a game-changer in the dating world. Whether it’s a light floral scent for a touch of romance or a bold, spicy aroma that screams confidence, your perfume is a powerful tool in your charm arsenal. So, spritz on your favorite scent and let it work its magic as you step out for your date, leaving a trail of intrigue and allure wherever you go! ๐ŸŒนโœจ

Pro Tip: Got a first date coming up in a few days? Experiment with different perfumes at school on days leading up to your date. You’re welcome.

7. Embracing Your Style

Your style should reflect who you are. If you love something, wear it, regardless of fashion โ€˜rulesโ€™. Thereโ€™s no need to hide your body; instead, dress in a way that celebrates it. And remember, stepping out of your comfort zone is okay, but always prioritize your comfort and personal taste.

8. Mindset Makeover: Be More, Not Less!

Being plus-size is not a dating disadvantage; it’s an opportunity to outshine! It’s time to tweak your mindset: yes, you’re plus-size, and that means you have the chance to be more memorable, more charismatic, and more captivating than anyone else in the room. Embrace your uniqueness and let it fuel your confidence.

Be bolder in your flirtation, more charming in your conversations, and more alluring in your presence. Your size doesn’t make you less of a woman; it makes you more โ€“ more of everything that’s wonderful about you. Show the world that you’re not just keeping up with other dating options; you’re setting the bar higher . So go ahead, dazzle with your confidence, charm with your wit, and enchant with your authenticity. You’re not just a choice; you’re the choice.

9. Navigating the First Kiss: Keeping It Cool and Confident

When that special moment arrives and your date leans in for a kiss, remember to stay calm and enjoy the moment. A first kiss is a beautiful expression of attraction and should feel natural. Donโ€™t stress about perfection; instead, focus on the connection youโ€™re both sharing. Keep it simple and sweet. Trust your instincts, and let the kiss be a reflection of your genuine feelings. Remember, confidence is key, and itโ€™s perfectly okay to be a bit nervous โ€“ itโ€™s part of the charm!

10. Getting Physical

Physical touch and gestures are a beautiful way to express affection. It’s not just about the grand gestures; it’s the small, thoughtful ones that often mean the most. Embrace these moments confidently, knowing that size is no barrier to expressing your love and affection.

And when you’re ready to show him some skin, do it with unwavering confidence. That’s the ultimate turn on (for both of you!)

As you step out into the dating world, remember that confidence is the most attractive outfit. Love yourself, embrace your curves, and let your personality shine. After all, confidence is contagious, and itโ€™s the best thing you can wear on any date. Go out there and shine bright, beautiful! โœจ

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Relationships

New Year’s Eve Mayhem: Four Funny Tales

Kelly D.

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NYE confessions

Hey there, fabulous ladies!

As we gear up for another dazzling New Year’s Eve, let’s dive into some outrageously funny confessions from gals who’ve had their fair share of NYE escapades. Picture this: glitter, countdowns, and a night that promises more twists than a pretzel factory. Whether you’re sipping champagne or dancing in your best heels (or one, if you’re like our first confessor), these stories are all about embracing the unexpected.

Remember, New Year’s Eve isn’t just a night; it’s a doorway to countless possibilities and hilarious misadventures. From midnight kisses with the wrong guy (oops!) to Uber rides that turn into epic party quests, each story is a toast to the wild, wonderful world of NYE celebrations. So, grab your besties, pour yourselves a glass, and get ready to laugh and be inspired.

The Case of the Missing Shoe

Picture this: New Year’s Eve, the most hyped night of the year. You’ve got your outfit picked out weeks in advance, and it’s not just any outfit. We’re talking a killer dress that hugs in all the right places, makeup on point, and, of course, the piรจce de rรฉsistance: those stunning, sky-high heels you splurged on just for tonight.

Our heroine of the night, let’s call her Emily, was all set for a night to remember. After prepping for hours (because let’s face it, getting ready is half the fun), Emily and her squad hit the town. They hopped into a taxi, buzzed with excitement and maybe just a little too much pre-party champagne.

Fast forward to the party. The place is bustling with energy, the countdown to midnight is on, and everyone is in high spirits. That’s when Emily notices something off โ€“ quite literally. One of her fabulous new shoes is missing! In a Cinderella-esque twist, she’s left with one bare foot. But unlike Cinderella, there’s no prince to return her lost slipper.

Panic sets in. Those shoes were the crown jewel of her outfit, not to mention ridiculously expensive. Flashbacks of the taxi ride come flooding back. Did she lose it there? It seems the champagne did more than just lift her spirits; it made her oblivious to walking into a party with just one shoe on!

Not one to let a shoe debacle ruin her night, Emily does what any of us would do: she calls the taxi company. Picture the scene: a slightly tipsy girl, explaining to a bemused operator that she’s lost one shoe and needs it for the new year. It’s like a modern-day fairy tale, minus the fairy godmother.

Now, here’s where the magic happens. The taxi driver, a real-life unsung hero, actually comes back โ€“ with the shoe! The relief is real. The night is saved, and Emily’s one-shoe wonder story becomes the hit of the party. She dances her way into the new year, both shoes firmly on, with a tale to tell that’s way better than any typical midnight kiss story.

Midnight Kiss Mix-Up

Here’s a tale about Charlotte and her unexpected New Year’s Eve adventure. As the countdown began, eyes sparkling around her (maybe from the mix of beers and champagne), Charlotte was on a mission. Her plan was simple: find her boyfriend amid the festive chaos, share a magical midnight kiss, and kick off the New Year with a romantic moment. However, the evening had a different script in store.

The party, hosted at a friend’s spacious house, provided ample room for guests to mingle โ€“ and for Charlotte to lose track of her boyfriend, especially after slamming beers in the kitchen with some friends. In her tipsy state, Charlotte found that from behind, nearly everyone resembled her boyfriend.

As the clock struck twelve and the crowd erupted into New Year cheers, Charlotte found herself next to a man who, at least in height, seemed similar to her boyfriend. Carried away by the moment (and maybe her blood-alcohol level), she leaned in for a kiss. Fireworks exploded, cheers filled the air, and then came the realization: this was not her boyfriend. Instead, she had just kissed her friend’s father, who had joined the party to add a bit of mature flair.

But the story took a humorous turn. Instead of embarrassment, Charlotte and her accidental kiss partner burst into laughter, quickly joined by the rest of the guests. It turned out that her friend’s dad had a great sense of humor and some impressive dance moves. Charlotte spent much of the night chatting, laughing, and dancing with him. When her actual boyfriend finally reappeared, he took a few minutes to comprehend the error, but was ok with it – besides, the guy was too old to be a serious threat.

The Plus-One Date Shuffle

Okay, ladies, buckle up because this New Year’s Eve story is all about twists, turns, and unexpected sparks. Picture this: two besties, Emma and Jess, gearing up for a NYE bash that promised to be lit. Their game plan? Go as each otherโ€™s plus-ones and scout out some potential Mr. Rights (or at least Mr. Right Nows).

The party was in full swing, glitter and confetti in the air, and the promise of a new year bringing that extra zest. Emma, with her firecracker red hair, and Jess, rocking a glittery gold dress, were ready to dive into the night. They spotted two guys, let’s call them Adam and Ben, who looked like they stepped right out of a rom-com. Smooth moves, charming smiles โ€“ the works.

But here’s the twist. As the night danced on, the initial sparks with Adam and Ben kinda fizzled. Our girls were about having fun, and these guys, as cute as they were, just weren’t hitting the mark. So, in true bestie fashion, they shrugged it off and dove back into the party โ€“ the dance floor was calling, and they were answering!

Cut to a few hours later. The countdown was done, the cheers had echoed, and the party was riding that midnight high. Emma, in a twist of fate, bumped into Ben again. But this time, something clicked. They laughed over a spilled drink, and suddenly, they were chatting like old friends. Meanwhile, Jess found herself swaying to the beats alongside Adam. His off-key singing suddenly seemed endearing, not grating.

As the party twinkled on, our girls realized โ€“ they had found their NYE magic, just not where they expected. Emma and Ben were in deep conversation by the snack table, bonding over their love for cheesy 80s movies – and sharing more than a few kisses. Jess and Adam? They were owning the dance floor, slow dancing every chance they could get.

We’re not sure how the night ended, but pretty sure they split the Uber 4 ways, not two.

The Serendipitous Uber Misadventure

Ok our final story begins: It’s New Year’s Eve, and you’re leaving a party at half past midnight, feeling a bit tipsy and absolutely ready for bed. But fate, it seems, has other plans for you. This is exactly what happened to 24-year-old Mia, who, in a slightly inebriated state, hopped into what she thought was her Uber. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Instead of heading back to her apartment, Mia found herself pulling up to a mansion that looked like it jumped straight out of a movie set. Confused, she double-checked the address and realized her mistake. But before she could explain, the driver, assuming she was one of the guests, wished her a good night and drove off. Standing there, in her glittery party dress and high heels, Mia faced a choice: call another ride home or embrace the unexpected.

With a shrug that screamed ‘why not?’, Mia walked into the house. And let me tell you, it was like stepping into a realm where Gatsby parties were the norm. The place was throbbing with energy, laughter echoing through halls adorned with extravagant decorations. An indoor pool glimmered under twinkling lights, people were in it (most naked) and yes, there was a live band in the living room.

Not holding back, normally-reserved Mia dived into the party. She found herself dancing with a group of friendly party-goers who welcomed her with open arms, no questions asked. They shared stories, toasted to new friendships, and when someone suggested a dip in the jacuzzi, Mia was all in. The water was warm, the conversation was light, and the night sky was a blanket of stars – it was bliss.

As the party continued, Mia’s night took another unexpected turn. She met Ava, a vibrant girl with an infectious laugh and an adventurous spirit. They clicked instantly, chatting and laughing as if they’d known each other for years. The connection was undeniable, and as the clock inched towards dawn, Mia found herself sharing a spontaneous, electrifying kiss with Ava – her first-ever girl-girl kiss. It was a moment of pure, unanticipated magic, and we’ll end the story here to keep you guessing what happened after they kissed.

It’s a Wrap

Well, there you have it, ladies! A whirlwind of glitter, giggles, and unexpected twists that turned these New Year’s Eve shenanigans into stories worth retelling. Whether it’s losing a shoe like Cinderella but with a taxi twist, planting a smooch on the totally wrong (but oh-so-right?) guy at midnight, switching dates in a rom-com worthy plot twist, or stumbling into a party that’s straight out of a movie scene, these adventures remind us that sometimes the best nights are the ones we never see coming.

Got your own wild New Year’s story? We’re all ears! Drop it in the comments and let’s keep the party going!

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